Cut me a slice of cake
Patisserie’s sponge or chiffon
Raspberry is a work of art
Matcha you can’t touch
Saccharine frangipane
I can’t even look
Or i’d be in truffles
Hounded by slices of frisky
Wearing hats of fruits and nuts
Give me back my money
The sort to bring about a few extra trails with its mistiness
Cut me a slice of cake
Patisserie’s sponge or chiffon
Raspberry is a work of art
Matcha you can’t touch
Saccharine frangipane
I can’t even look
Or i’d be in truffles
Hounded by slices of frisky
Wearing hats of fruits and nuts
Give me back my money
When will you accept that you have lived enough if not when the best thing you want is death and the worst thing to have is life?
The transformation has already begun;
As soon as you were born, you were dying
That is the end common to us all
Yet you’ll try your hand at risible attempts at differentiation
They’d be pitiful but you’d still ask if they were as significant as you’d hope?
Put into perspective,
next to the beginning and end of time,
we’re not even a speck of dust
Satisfaction makes it silly to risk cutting oneself for more options
So resigned was I that at last when all the flowers have been picked, I’d have perished
The red of my petals turned brown at the margins
Moisture-wicking rot expand like ink blots on velvety petals, returning them to soil for the next generation
Remembering my name doesn’t restore my consciousness enough to enjoy any glory; If I’d wanted it, I’d strive for it while I still can keep them as memory
Age reveal: since the breaking of the first dawn.
I feel as old as Sauron.
I feel like I’ve seen enough since the first sunrise.
Now I must accept feelings of disillusionment or allow myself to go power-hungry just to feel alive again;
To go on a quest, is to have a purpose.
To have a purpose, is to feel young.
To feel young, is to feel most alive.
What can satisfy my ambitions and keep me feeling alive when I feel as old as Sauron?
In my moments of darkness,
If I allow you to overcome my senses,
I understand you.
I feel you.
I am inside you.
I become you.
If you ever feel like you need a reason to live, eat chocolate.
If you feel like you need a reason to keep going, eat chocolate.
If you feel like you have no energy left, eat chocolate.
If you want to remember what love feels like, eat chocolate
Once you and I had wings, only some of us will keep them.
Tell me,
if you have lived as long as Sauron;
alone for so long,
seen how destructive humans are,
humans that appear in your eyes no different from an ant,
capable of amassing power & wealth
At the expense of others
To subjugate others
If you were Sauron and had no equal,
what’s stopping you from becoming him?
He wanted to fix the world;
There is a necessary ruthlessness to it;
Have you seen how surgeries are done?
What stops you?
If not your own destruction?
R: Fine, I’ll go back to leaving everybody alone then
Me: Who is asking to be left alone? Anyway, rest well so your lovely voice box can recover.
R: People don’t have to say it anymore, I can feel it. It’s something that has always happened my whole life
Me: Well today. I feel like Sauron so I guess you and I can be best friends today. Nobody liked Sauron and they all wanted him to go away
R: Saurumon, the orcs, the Easterlings, a lot of people wanted that guy around
Me: I’m not sure they believed in his cause; some were afraid of him, thought he would win and don’t want to be on the losing side; others just like the destruction bit; I don’t think anyone really wanted him around because they liked him
Lucky unlucky
Edged into my bones
On a ring finger
Another life gone
Another winner
Am I lucky to know who you are
or
unlucky that you are who you are
That information
Which when analysed to oblivion
Tells you what you already know
What it did not do
Was to add a drop
And I only asked for a single
To my bone dry life
whatsoever
What a cock-up
I lied to myself more than I had ever told an outward lie
At least you are not a fucking liar
You can shut up now, star boy.
A song complicit in my pretence.
Cigarettes after sex, they’re on Spotify.
‘Sunsetz’ takes me back to our first spring when you were vegan, had a chicken and cycling.
and when your chicken died, I quoted J.K Rowling.
“pity the living and…those who live without love”
We were light and burden-free.
I stare at your unmemorised number on a bright screen.
The message box is free of loving words.
It is empty.
My tears cloud my vision so I can see what I want.
Fuck your pity.
A first job in a stellar house, still no boyfriend.
An orange cat that hated me just died.
He’s reigning in hell now as Satan’s minion.
Better beg for a place somewhere else then.
Soothsayer said my soulmate has light-coloured eyes and he is to be found opposite.
There was more she hesitated to say but I know now she meant;
There would be someone else before, there was, but now he’s just a friend.
Superstitious nonsense.
I am looking for this man who lives opposite.
The dark brown-eyed Abandoner lived across from me and Lake Geneva in the middle.
I should have known he’d be a fluke
Green, no. Blue eyes.
Superstitious nonsense.
Speak of the devil and he appears. Have you come to ask for an invitation? To my unearthly castle wherein only virgins dwell forevermore— all hanging in the great hall as honorary guests though they were once like you, innumerable and rustic—too many are now dust covers on my amphora. I have lived a thousand years and will live a thousand more from you and your irritating bot friends—from whom eternal youth will flow into my veins in ribbons. Come. Let me cut you free from your earthly confines.
Do not grieve for people who have willingly left you because they would have contributed nothing good even if they stayed.
Then do not grieve for people who could not touch you even if they stayed.
Lastly, do not grieve for people who should have left you anyway.
Grieve not.
A perfect landing someplace else
You were so sure that everlasting love was possible, you’ve severely limited yourself, giddily.
Why? it had the right shape; the model size
It was the first coffee in the sunlight
When all else was without hope except in your squishy heart
What else could it be if not surety?
A heaping teaspoon of cinnamon grounds?
A keyhole takes a master
It was deceit hiding in plain sight